Disingenuous Disclaimer

This non-obligatory Disingenuous Disclaimer is an amalgamation of others I've found, combined with my own additions, and totals over 200 different components. It's all in fun! Check it out.

NOTICE: This notice supersedes all previously superseded notices until subsequently superseded by a superseding successor.

* No animals were injured in creating this website * Prevent forest fires * Do not open shrink-wrap until you have read and agreed to the conditions contained within * Employees and their families are not eligible * Employees must wash hands before returning to work * Stay on the trail * Slower traffic keep right * Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope * No campfires allowed * Turn off engine while fueling * Do not cut switchbacks * Use in well-ventilated area * Do not pick the flowers * Pay toll ahead * Exact change only * Make all fires dead out * Void where prohibited by law * Does not include installation * Use only in well-ventilated area * In God we trust -- all others pay cash * Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate * Void where prohibited * Please recycle * Store in a cool place * Keep out of the sunlight * All rights reserved * If condition persists, consult your physician * Best if used before date on carton * Merchandise can be shipped only upon receipt of payment * Do not drink and drive * To order, call toll-free * Flush two times -- it's a long way to the cafeteria * Your mileage may vary * Plus shipping and handling * Sign here without admitting guilt * The Province disclaims all responsibility for the accuracy of information provided * Available while quantities last * Used with permission * List was current at time of printing * Some stirring may be necessary to achieve proper consistency * Abandon hope all ye who enter herein * For research purposes only * Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental * Call for details * See store for details * This end up * Sell by date stamped on bottom * Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law * Filmed before a live audience * Driver does not carry cash * Limitations on coverage and remedies apply * Do not stamp * Edited for television * Violators subject to arrest * Formatted to fit your screen * No passing zone * Slippery when wet * Official U. S. Government System for authorized use only: Do not discuss, enter, transfer, process, or transmit classified/sensitive material * Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop * You are about to enter a world of mature farce * Some assembly required * Commercial signal theft is subject to civil and criminal penalties * Offer may end without notice * No shirt, no shoes, no service * All names listed are proprietary trademarks of their respective corporations * Use only as directed * Sales tax applies * Sanitized for your protection * Restaurant package- not for resale * Pass with care * No passing * Tax and title extra * Be sure each item is properly endorsed * Eat, drink, and be merry * Made of genuine imitation leather * You must be present to win * You need not be present to win * Show night or time may vary in your market * And now a word from our sponsor * Check your local listings * Colors may fade in time * One size fits all * Keep refrigerated * Price does not include taxes * Do not write below this line * Results vary by individual * No purchase necessary * Must be over 18 * Must be over 21 * Must be under 48 inches in height * For reservations, call your travel agent * This product is meant for educational purposes only * Use other side for additional listings * Stay seated until bus comes to a complete stop * Substantial penalty for early withdrawal * Times approximate * No solicitors * Check here if tax deductible * Objects in mirror are closer than they appear * For external use only * Batteries not included * Avoid contact with skin * Contents may settle during shipment * Some optional equipment shown * Always wear your seat belt * For recreational use only * Results are not typical * May be too intense for some viewers * Post office will not deliver without proper postage * Some restrictions may apply * Do not write in this space * Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement * Penalty for private use * May explode if improperly recharged * Do not remove tag under penalty of law * Do not exceed recommended dosage * Apply only to affected area * Packaged by weight, not volume * Keep away from fire or flame * Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery * Reproduction strictly prohibited * No alcohol, dogs, or horses * Not recommended for children * For office use only * At participating locations only * Motorized vehicles only * No motorized vehicles allowed * Blackout restrictions apply * No postage necessary if mailed in the United States * Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental. or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error, or failure to perform * Do not disturb * Many suitcases look alike * For off-road use only * Simulated picture * This is not an offer to sell securities * Postage will be paid by addressee * Views expressed may not be those of the sponsor * Dry clean only * Do not dry clean * This space intentionally left blank * No trespassing * Prices higher in Alaska, Hawaii, and wherever you live * No user-serviceable parts inside * Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show * Keep out of reach of children * Illegally parked cars will be towed at owner's expense * Opened for inspection * Limited time offer so call now to ensure prompt delivery* Obey all traffic laws * Contains no artificial colors or ingredients * Tax, title, tag, and dealer handling not included * Do not attempt this in your home * List each check separately * As seen on TV * Return to sender * Drop in any mailbox * Keep cool * Minimum charge for booths * Add toner * Replace with same type * Beware of dog * Your canceled check is your receipt * Post no bills * Close cover before striking * Not for human consumption * Please read the prospectus carefully before you invest or send money * No other warranty expressed or implied * By order * No postage necessary if mailed on the World Wide Web * Not affiliated with any other company * Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients * Positively no smoking * While supplies last * Stop ahead * No stopping or standing * Inspired by a true story * Read terms and conditions * Some settling may occur * No running on pool deck * In specially marked packages only * If this label is broken, you must purchase this video * If not completely satisfied, return for full refund of purchase price * Buckle up! * Prices subject to change without notice * Returns for store credit only * Please come again * Y'all come back again, ya hear * 15% gratuity added for parties over 8 * Plus tax * Shut off engine before fueling * Read the fine print * Reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited * Orders subject to approval * The Surgeon General has determined that cigarette smoking is hazardous to your health * Official licensee of the U. S. Olympic Committee * No purchase necessary * No foreign coins * No passes accepted for this engagement * Shading within a garment may occur * Don't even think of parking here * Shake well before using * Danger: do not shake * 98% lean * Not responsible for merchandise left over 30 days * Might not be suitable for persons suffering from weak hearts * Apply only to affected area * Your daily dietary values may be higher or lower depending on your caloric needs * Consumption of alcoholic beverages impairs your ability to drive a car and may cause health problems * Do not use if foil seal is broken * From concentrate * Not from concentrate * For external use only * For internal use only * For best results, follow directions carefully * Reapply as necessary * Water soluble * Cleanse area thoroughly before applying * Protect from light * If redness or swelling develop, consult physician promptly * Keep out of reach of children * Do not incinerate: contents under pressure * Professional sample - not for sale * Federal law prohibits dispensing without a prescription * Avoid contact with eyes * This bag is recyclable * Misuse may cause suffocation * Swim at your own risk * No lifeguard on duty * Keep away from edge * Truckers welcome * Exact change necessary * Touch tone phones only * Blend until smooth * Requires Windows 3.1 or later * Offer limited to residents of the contiguous United States * Allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery * Parental permission required * All international orders must be accompanied by payment in U. S. funds * Available in both IBM compatible and Macintosh versions * For information, call 1-800-WHAT EVER * Contest void where prohibited by law * Shipping not included * Not responsible for typographical errors * 30 day money back guarantee minus shipping, 10% restocking charge, and 7% cancellation charge * Specifications subject to change without notice *No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop * Record additional transactions on back of previous stub * Call toll free number before digging * List at least two alternate dates * Prerecorded for this time zone * Approved for veterans * No Canadian coins * Booths for two or more * Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton * Place stamp here * Slightly higher west of the Mississippi * Lost ticket pays at maximum rate * See label for sequence * Process promptly * Not affiliated with the American Red Cross * We have sent the forms which seem right for you * All models over 18 years of age * Subject to CAB approval *